So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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