What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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