On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
4 words: hood of his car
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize