I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
