In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Randomize
