Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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