i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
There r osticjed everywhere
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
