Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
