He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
COCAINE IS GR8
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize