i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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