Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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