so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
