One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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