people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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