Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
