I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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