My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
