what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
