this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize