i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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