i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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