I must be too annoying 4 u.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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