Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
