i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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