I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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