So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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