I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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