You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
