he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize