her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
