i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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