K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
