Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
