so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
