in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Please don't give away my fajitas
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
