Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
