I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
no you cant smoke seaweed
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize