textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize