so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
