You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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