As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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