Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize