just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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