the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
