Non-Jews are for practice
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
