I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
