I just saw a hot homeless man
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
