Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
