i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
