You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
