fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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