What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
