I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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