I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
