Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
