Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You smell like stripper and shame
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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