Non-Jews are for practice
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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