omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
