Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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