ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
