We won't sleep together?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
