Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
