And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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